What if we started acknowledging others for what we see in them, for what we see as their power, for what we observe them ‘being’ every day? Yet we’ve never stopped to tell them we’ve noticed or are grateful for.
By Mark Brown, Certified TetraMap Facilitator, UK
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Marianne Williamson. From her book ‘A Return To Love’.
A fellow participant on a training programme I attended shared this passage with me. I was taken aback by its power and that the author seemed to be talking directly to me; it gave me new hope, and a desire to unlock my power!
I can’t help but feel that we all need help with finding our power, whether we’ve heard or read this before. I know I do, and I am certain that I don’t stand alone in this.
I mean, what if we started acknowledging others for what we see in them, for what we see as their power? What if we started telling people the things that we observe them ‘being’ every day that we are grateful for? I don’t mean giving traditional positive feedback, where the reason for telling the receiver is that you want them to repeat their behaviour. It isn’t about what’s in it for the teller, it’s about the insight that the receiver will gain.
Landmark Worldwide (whose vision is: to enable people and businesses throughout the world to realise their full potential) call this ‘Acknowledgement’. The essence of acknowledgement is to recognise the good in others and share it with them. Saying you’re a ‘super person’ doesn’t go far enough, what is it that makes that person ‘super’ – it needs to be specific?
Here are some examples:
Acknowledgements could start with:
- ‘I acknowledge you for your…’
and then go on to define what it is that you’re acknowledging:
- ‘dedication, humanity, humility…’
then add the context:
- ‘the manner in which you conduct yourself, the tireless work that you do in your local community, and the challenges that you face every day – you never give up or veer off course’
- ‘you never fail to recognise the value of every individual, even when you disagree with them’
- ‘when you succeed, you never make it just about you. Instead, you acknowledge your team, your family, your friends – the people who helped you get there’.
A contagious community culture
I am fortunate to have been on the receiving end of such acknowledgements. I work as a volunteer (Assisting Programme) on one of Landmark’s courses, and the community go out of their way to help me see what’s right in me and others. I reciprocate too, not because I feel as though I need to, but because my mind shifts and I see the good in others.
I find it contagious and at the time of writing I’m missing the Landmark environment due to the COVID 19 closure of the centres. Primarily I’m missing the Landmark culture – as a learner I crave constant reminders and the ongoing immersion.
I urge you to try this practice, not because it’ll make you feel better (it will by the way) but because it’ll make another human being feel better about themselves, and ultimately help them to realise their power.
Mark Brown
The Intuitive Coach
The Intuitive Learning Company
